9:18 PM on Friday, April 24, 2015 - Iyar 5, 5775 Following a decade of hope and speculation, U.S. President Barack Obama finally acknowledged on Thursday that he is the Messiah.

Breaking Jewish News Updated Throughout The Day Yep, It's Me President Obama announces he's the Messiah Democrats rejoice, Republicans and Jews remain skeptical
9:18 PM on Friday, April 24, 2015 - Iyar 5, 5775
	Following a decade of hope and speculation, U.S. President Barack Obama finally acknowledged on Thursday that he is the Messiah. "Yep, it's me," Obama told the press, refusing to comment further, except to say, "I'm here. Look busy." The announcement did not come as a surprise to Democrats, who openly rejoiced at the president's confirmation of something they had long suspected. "I always knew he was the greatest human being who's ever lived ever," remarked former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, "but to see him finally confirm that he's a divine being is truly... well..." At that point, Pelosi broke down in tears of joy and refused to comment further. In an editorial published online immediately after the president's announcement of his divine nature, the New York Times stated, After all these years, it is deeply gratifying to see one's hopes fulfilled. Clearly, it is now time for Obama to dissolve Congress and the Supreme Court, and take his place as anointed king of the universe. Obama's statement met with skepticism from his opponents, however, with House Speaker John Boehner saying, "Well, we've kind of already got a messiah, and whatever else Obama might be, he's no Jesus." Famed conservative commentator George Will simply tweeted the phrase, "We do indeed know what we knew along - he's nuts." Jewish leaders also expressed guarded skepticism, with the Conference of Presidents of Major Jewish Organizations saying in a press release, We've always adored the president, but we must wait until he rebuilds the Temple, brings peace to the world, and ensures that all of mankind acknowledges the existence of God and the truth of his Torah before we choose to support his messiah policy. The White House Press Secretary refused to comment on the president's statement, though he did confirm that Obama will perform a series of miracles on Friday, and advised the press corps to stock up on barrels of water if they were interested in having it transformed into wine. A note to our readers: World Jewish Daily would like to confirm that the preceding article is fake, entirely fake, and could not be more fake. But to paraphrase the late Leonard Nimoy, Doesn't a fake lead us to the real truth? The answer is no. Happy Purim! Email to a friend, Share on Facebook, Share on Twitter, and more: